Blink

It's weird when people die, after a while it feels like they never existed. It's as if your brain gets tired from the trauma and you question whether you're making it up. Blink.

Of course they were there. You knew them all too well.

Stretched, confused and empty- all you want is to have them back. They can still exist, in memories and imagery. I've been told to hold onto those thoughts, so that person doesn't feel too far away. They are there, they are you. They gave you life.

Mums, dads, relatives and friends. It doesn't matter who they are but they were a part of your life. At some point they influenced you. It's almost like a break up. A person so fantastic yet with emotions tied to them, they're strong enough to break you.

You must go on. They have already began to continue. A new life, a new journey, who knows-but it's up to you where they are now and I think that's the beauty about death.


I just wanted to write something as this weekend Alice Pyne passed away, an amazing girl who treasured life, for someone who sometimes sees her surroundings a little too grey, Alice reminded me that I need to love and live the life I have now! For me the small and simple things really do count.

Also these words reflect my thoughts for Harry, the sweetest, caring guy who has helped make a building a home for my friend. He lost his dad today.

I've been thinking about my mum a lot too. Her laugh, her voice. Her warm fluffy hugs in her 'Chelsea' blue dressing gown. Mums silly ostrich neck and her scatty mind. I miss her heart, the reassurance, her love. Im glad it was her pulling me along the carpet when I first got drunk and didn't want to open my eyes (the morning after wasn't pretty).

My dad. I miss his long chicken legs, his bad chef impressions, spiking up his hair to look like Gary Rhodes. I miss how he cooked oven chips better than mum did. He loved the sea, he loved animals and I loved watching him play resident evil on the playstation.

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